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| The Sweetest Myspace Survey | | Tell Me About Yourself | | What is your name?: | Rachel | | Where were you born?: | arlington va | | What color are your eyes?: | brown | | Do you have any tatoos?: | yes =-D | | Do you have any piercings?: | yes | | Do you own an I-pod?: | yes | | Do you have a camera phone?: | yes | | What cd is in your player right now?: | uummm... motley's crue's greatest hits, poison's greatest hits and stephen lynch (its a 3-cd player) | | Are you chewing gum right now?: | nope | | Are you tall enough to ride Space Mountain?: | i hope so... | | How many fingers am I holding up?: | uh 1... | | Are you drunk right now?: | i wish | | Are you high?: | again... i wish | | Are you sure?: | as far as i know... | | So have you ever.... | | Danced in the rain?: | yes... it was wet | | Sang in the shower?: | only every time i get in the shower! | | Skinny dipped?: | yes | | Been on stage?: | let's think about this one... | | Cut your own hair?: | when i was a little kid... | | Made a snow man?: | yup | | Played lazer tag?: | yup | | Laughed so hard you cried?: | yup | | Jumped on a trampoleen?: | i like trampoleens... they're real trampy... | | Been in love?: | yes | | Broken a heart?: | yes | | Had your heart broken?: | no | | Taken a silly survey?: | what am i doing right now? | | Lied on a silly survey?: | yes | | Well what is your favorite..... | | Color?: | green | | Season?: | spring/summer (the warm ones) | | Movie?: | i have a bunch of favorites... | | Book?: | again.. i have a few | | Food?: | almost any potato product lol | | Drink?: | alcholic=beer, non-alcoholic=dr. pepper | | Ice cream?: | frrench silk | | Pizza topping?: | black olives and pepperoni | | Board game?: | clue | | Sport?: | football, basketball | | Activity?: | acting? | | Song?: | up all night by the counting crows | | Instrument?: | my voice? | | Website?: | ebaumsworld? | Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d |
Current Mood:  bored Current Music: the cure-love song
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25 People You Know and 75 Things You Know About Them Name 25 people you know, in random order, off the top of your head. Don't look at the questions before you put the names down!!! 1: Sharon 2: Tara 3: Sabet 4: Anne 5: Krysh 6: Christy 7: Nikki 8: Curtis 9: Frix 10: Anna 11: Danielle 12: Azzi 13: Vito 14: Mandy 15: Alison 16: Alex 17: Nick 18: Jeff 19: Jane 20: Kamins 21: Heather 22: Trey 23: Andrea 24: Frances 25: Ashley Now answer each question honestly and to the best of your ability. What's 23's favourite colour?: i want to say either blue or green... but i'm not 100% Who did 16 last go out with?: After Krysia I don't know... i know he went out w/ someone on vday... Would you date 2?: FUCKIN YEAH I WOULD Would 9 & 3 hook up, or have they ever?: hahaha they might if they knew each other... Does 13 have any piercings?: nope Do you have/have you had a crush on 5?: DO I EVER Rate 1 on a 1-10 scale of cuteness.: "but this one goes up to 11..." 11 DUH Are 23 & 7 friends?: they don't know eachother... What city does 11 live in?: LA Have you stayed the night at 21's house?: why yes i have!! Who is 18's best friend?: Steve or alex i think Do you know any secrets about 20?: because i'd tell her secrets on lj... Would 10 & 22 be a good couple?: loLololoLOl NO Is 17 openly gay/bi?: not openly LOloloL What religion does 15 have?: uh... i guess episcopalion (how the hell do you spell that???) What do you REALLY think of 19?: she's like my little sis!! Would you trust 4 with a secret?: i've trusted her with many... Do you know 25's parents?: yes i do and they scare me... Do you think that 6 is hot?: IS SHE EVER Do you have 8's phone number?: why yes i do... and i should use it soon!!! Describe how 12 dresses.: i don't know if i could describe it... like a crazy person on acid maybe??? Describe 24 in three words.: fantastic, adorable, SASSY Would you ever kiss 14?: EEEEEEEWWWW in a SISTERLY WAY maybe SINCE SHE'S MY SISTER!! Would 10 & 24 be a good couple?: since neither one is a lezbian... prolly NOT What is 3's favourite animal?: i wanna say like a frog or something but i'm pretty sure i'm wrong... How did you meet 15?: well when she was 12 my mom had me and she was there in the hospital since SHE'S MY SISTER Would you visit 22 in the hospital?: of course i would... and i'd bring him sassy balloons or something What would you do if 16 died?: i would probably cry like a little bitch What would you do if 7 had a baby?: i would say its the cutest baby ever and i would visit them all the time!! Do you think you'd be invited to a party held by 17?: I DAMN WELL BETTER BE Is 1 your best friend?: YES!!!! HOW DID YOU KNOW?!?!? Is 25 actually someone you know well?: yes she is Do you love 4?: I love her with all of my heart!!! when was the last time you spoke to 8 in person?: oh damn... not since before the summer!! =-( Have you had drinks with 13?: i have had MANY drinks with him... Is 16 on Myspace?: not that i know of and if he is i don't know why he's not my friend!!! Does 19 skateboard?: her sister tries to but i don't think she does... Have you dated 21 or any of their exes?: he's not technically her ex... but she did go to homecoming with Dave forever ago!! When was the last time you called 20?: i don't remember...hmmmm... Have you ever given 11 a hug?: i'm sure i have... she's very huggable Have you cried in front of 12?: yes i have!! and she laughed at me... Does 14 know how to draw?: oh hell no Does 10 like children?: yes she does Is 6 over the age of 18?: she's older than i am!!! Does 2 own a dog?: i don't think so... Do you know 16's best friend?: yes Name one attractive thing about 15.: uuuhhh... she's my sister so she's not attractive to me... lOLolol What is 18's middle name?: fuck if i know Does 9 like your favourite band?: he should! Have you seen 23 in a swimsuit?: i don't think i have...damn LololoOl Can 6 play an instrument?: i feel like i remember she can.. but i could be wrong... Where did you meet 15?: dammit i met her in the hospital THE DAY I WAS BORN Do you think 13 and 7 should date?: NO and if they did i'd probably flip a shit on both of them... Who is 20 going out with?: i don't think she is going out with anyone right now... but she could probably get any guy she wanted... What would life be like if you had never met 5?: very very dismal and depressing Where was the last place you've gone with 16?: uumm... sharon's bday party... but i didn't go WITH him... he does still owe me a date though!!! Have you ever had a crush on 21?: you're damn right i have Has 25 been to your house?: yes she has... quite a few times Have you seen 7's bedroom before?: all of her rooms at school last year =-p Does 18 live in another town than you?: yes Is 16 single?: i think so?? Has 1 ever borrowed money from you?: we're like eachother's sugarmamas sometimes... Have you ever met 14's grandma?: you mean my grandma? yes i did Is 3 one of your exes?: we're still dating so... no Can 16 sing well?: i'm gonna say... no What is 23's favourite movie?: lord of the rings What country is 12 from?: this one... Does 19 like country music?: i think she does... and i think it upsets sharon... loloLOL What did 22 dress up as last Halloween?: i have NO IDEA Does 12 have a computer?: yes... the same one i do How much older or younger than you is 24?: only a couple months i believe Do you think 10 is pretty/handsome?: yes i do What was the last reason 2 went to the hospital?:probably because she was sick =-( When was the last time you saw a movie with 20?: a long time ago Has 8 tried sushi?: i think i remember him coming with us to $2 tuesday last year... or maybe that was wishful thinking... Does 11 smoke?: unless she quit then yeah Will 6 ever go out with 22?: if he were straight she'd probably want to =-pCurrent Mood:  amused Current Music: motley crue-shout at the devil
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thats the only way i can really explain what i am these days. i'm just stuck in this hole thats like 20 feet deep and its almost like i'm digging down to get back up. (yeah go me and my metaphors)
i know one day i'm gonna look back at myself and laugh. but right now it sucks.
i feel like shit and there's no one cause.
i'm bored, i'm lonely, my self-esteem is dangerously low, i'm stressed, i'm poor, i'm depressed, i'm sick... and so many other things.
i often think that i should have stayed at coastal... things might have been better for me if i had. but its too late now. and i feel like going back would be quitting... even though i feel like leaving in the first place was quitting. damnit.
i feel fat these days (and no i don't need to hear that i'm not because i know i'm not... i'm just having a fat week... or month...) i've stared at the toilet a couple times and thought about how easy it would be to start shoving my finger down my throat again. but then i don't.
i've stared at pill bottles and thought about how nice it would be to take a bunch and just go numb.
i had an audition today and failed. it sucks because i was so sure of myself. it REALLY sucks to get that call and hear "your audition was AWESOME but we decided to go a different way... we hope to see you out for our next auditions." i don't even care that much about the show... i honestly don't even know why i'm pissed but i am. i'm disappointed. so that dropped the esteem part down a little bit... whatever.
i want to know how to fill my void. i wish i had time to go down to sc. i feel like seeing elsiabeth and tara and nikki and christy (even though she's not there right now...) would help cheer me up. NOVA SUCKS!!! i fucking hate it here. i need to get out of my parents house too... they're driving me insane. but i guess thats what parents do.
sorry i'm such a downer guys. for some reason it makes me feel better to share my shit with people. i don't even care if you read it... it just makes me feel better to have it out there.
If its any consolation... i had a good night last night. i hung out with sharon and anne in dc. anne took my new headshots. i ate great sushi for dinner and watched movies with anne and sharon. its days like yesterday where i'm glad i'm me.Current Mood:  depressed Current Music: eminem-mockingbird
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grr
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Feb. 9th, 2006 @ 11:43 pm
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i've been very angry lately and i don't know why. i've been very depressed lately and i don't know why.
i think i'm lonely.
its just this feeling i have... i don't know if i really am or not... but i think i am. its weird and i can't really explain it.
i'm getting to the point where i don't want to be alone... ever. i always want someone with me... which sucks because there aren't that many people here and sharon can't always be here. i feel like i need to make more friends... or get closer to people i already consider friends but never see. my problem is that i can't bring myself to take the effort to meet people or call people or whatever. i don't know if i'm afraid people will hate me or if it will be awkward... but for some reason i keep convincing myself that i don't REALLY need to make more friends. i'm trying to talk to people in my classes.. i really am... its just that now that i am kind of putting forth the effort... i don't think anyone else is. and people wonder why i don't do shit...
i've spent every night the past week crying alone in my room. here i go again.
sometimes i wonder if i want acting to be a career or if its just a habit... i know its the only thing i'm good at... and i'm not even good... which is disappointing. i'm beginning to wonder who i am. am i really who i am or am i just pretending to be that person because i don't know?
i don't need answers or pity or sympathetic comments or anything... i'm just getting shit off my chest...
i was writing last night (never a good sign with me...) and i wrote this monologue or whatever it is and then i reread it and it was really kind of dismal... big surprise right? but now that i think about it... everything is kind of coming together... oh... SHIT
You want me to explain the way I feel? Fine. I’ll give it a shot. You know that feeling you get after you’ve quit smoking and then you finally have a cigarette after months of waiting for one, pining for one? That dizzy, sick feeling that you can’t get enough of? Or when you have a shot of gin. That nasty burning feeling in your throat and stomach that you hate but for some reason you keep drinking. I love you the way I love going numb after swallowing a Vicodin and a Percocet with a nice glass of whiskey. I love you the way I love feeling my muscles stretch to the point where they could just tear in half when I go to the gym. Or what about the way I love to suck the blood off of my finger when I get a paper cut? That disgusting taste of metal that everyone secretly loves to suck on. And you know how everybody loves to pop all their pimples and watch the pus shoot out? Yeah. That’s how I love you. I love to the point where I’m sick. My head starts to fucking pound and my heart is going explode inside my chest but not before I vomit out all of my other organs. I fucking love you, you asshole and I hate myself for it. And I hate you for being so goddamn loveable!
i hate myselfCurrent Mood:  confused Current Music: journey-wheel in the sky
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Feb. 1st, 2006 @ 05:31 pm
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been a while hasn't it? yup.
i have nothing of any importance to share seeing as my life is so unfortunately boring. i just felt like writing whatever came to mind... see i'm currently putting off the work i have to do. i have a TON of french homework. my french teacher's crazy cuz she gives us so much fucking homework! i'm probably gonna fail the class anyway though cuz the whole thing is in FRENCH!!! if i already knew french... I WOULDN'T BE TAKING IT!!!
as you could probably guess classes started last week. everything's going fine. i have no friends at mason... minus andrea and like 4 other people... but i never see them. =-( if i saw at least 1 person i liked whenever i was on campus it would be all good... but there's no one. booo.... i'm a loser... oh well.. its all good. i'm too lazy to make friends too. haha. so i deserve to be a loser. =-p
well i guess i should go start my french homework since i have SO MUCH it'll probably take me a couple hours =-(
later dudes
Current Mood:  my butt's asleep... Current Music: billy currington-must be doin somethin right
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| » and late night boredom strikes again... |
Put Itunes or Windows Media Player on shuffle and see what you get
1. What's my mood like right now? because i got high-afroman (fuck i wish...)
2. How's tomorrow going to be for me? wish you were here-pink floyd
3. What kind of person am I? love machine-wasp
4. Am I loved? always look on the bright side of life-spamalot
5. How can I acheive my highest potential? here for the party-gretchen wilson
6. What should I do with my life? gold digger-kanye west
7. Is everything really going to be alright in the end? all you wanted-michelle branch
8. What is my best quality? big bottom-spinal tap (lOLoloLOLOloLoLoLOLOl)
9. How does my sex life look? criminal-fiona apple (well shit...)
10. What's the meaning of life? dust in the wind-kansas (and shit again...)
11. What do people think of me? what i got-sublime
12. Would I make a good lover? what was i thinking-dierks bentley (i don't know if this is good or bad)
13. How crazy am I? trouble-coldplay
14. Will I have a good life in general? its raining men-the weathergirls
15. Can (Insert name here) ever really love me? love song-five for fighting
16) Can me and (insert name here) ever be more than friends? iris-goo goo dolls
man some of these are just funny
Jan. 3rd, 2006 @ 12:05 am
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| » 2005 survey from kaminski |
1.What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? got a tattoo (or two... =-D ), broke up with someone :( , transferred schools (twice)
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? i never make resolutions
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? my sister did
4. Did anyone close to you die? i don't know if many people would consider her that close to me... but dave's grandma
5. What countries did you visit? the one i live in...
6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? an apartment
7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? decmeber 12--the day ainsley was born
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? making a decision and doing what was best for me schoolwise
9. What was your biggest failure? uummm....
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? thankfully no
11. What was the best thing you bought? i'd say my tattoos
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my roommates for loving me no matter what, my dis girls for loving me no matter what, dave for loving me no matter what, my family for loving me no matter what... need i continue?
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? probably myself and a few others who will go unnamed
14. Where did most of your money go? tattoos, shoes, clothes, and food
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my tattoos (sense a theme?), changing schools, my niece
16. What song will always remind you of 2005? The tra la la song that krysh introduced us to Breath (2 AM) Redneck Woman (because my redneckness really revealed itself this past year) My Humps Hollaback girl
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: I. happier or sadder? a little of column a... a little of column b ii. thinner or fatter? probably fatter which i'll cry about in a little bit iii. richer or poorer? i was richer... but now all my money's gone again
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? theatre and socializing
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? regretting stuff and worrying
20. How will you be spending Christmas? at alison's house in nashville
22. Did you fall in love in 2005? with my niece... though i think you're talking about a different kind
23. How many one-night stands? none
24. What was your favorite TV program? reunion and all the law and orders
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? i don't think i hate anyone new... or at least i really don't like so many people that i can't tell who was before now and who's not
26. What was the best book you read? the sixth harry potter =-D
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? i finally convinced myself that country music IS good
28. What did you want and get? better grades
29. What did you want and not get? an apartment
30. What was your favorite film of this year? the fourth harry potter! =-D
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i turned 19 and i don't think i did anything... except hearing about anne almost getting arrested for flouring my car
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? the whole school thing and relationship thing making sense
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005? the same as 2004 except that i own a lot more black now because of work
34. What kept you sane? my friends
36. What political issue stirred you the most? what political issue didn't stir me? i hate bush with a major passion
37. Who did you miss? Christy, Elisabeth, Tara, Nikki, Curtis, Jason and a lot of other people at coastal
38. Who was the best new person you met? Nick and Katie
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005. Do what makes you happy and don’t worry about everyone else. You’re the only person who can make you happy.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: “Cuz you can’t jump the track we’re like cars on a cable/ and life’s like an hourglass glued to the table/ no one can find the rewind button girl/ so cradle your head in your hands…” --Anna Nalick-Breathe (2 AM)
“You know I’m here for the party/and I ain’t leavin till they throw me out/ gonna have a little fun gone get me some/ you know I’m here, I’m here for the party” --Gretchen Wilson- Here for the party
Dec. 31st, 2005 @ 04:45 pm
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| » no more tennis see? |
i'm having fun playing around with the word tennessee. its so easy.
well we're leaving tomorrow. it'll be good to go home cuz i've been bored here. but its gonna be so hard to leave that baby. i've gotten so attached to her. she's so easy to love. i was feeding her today and she was just sitting there staring at me and she has the sweetest eyes. yeah i'll really miss her. i got out of alison's house today. that was good since i've been so utterly bored. i went shopping with her and mom. then tonight mom, dad, mandy and i went to opryland to look at the christmas stuff cuz they go all out. it was sweet... they had this thing called "ice" and it was this whole building full of ice sculptures. there was a slide made out of ice and it was fucking awesome. like seriously the whole place was full of ice... the walls were made of ice and there were all these giant scenes and stuff. seriously... it was really cool. yeah so that was my night. i had a good time.
holy shit!!!! BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY WAS TOTALLY ON SOME TALK SHOW!!!! I LOVE BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY!!!
sorry... tv's on. so i'll be home tomorrow and i'll be able to do all my xmas phone calls... i get terrible service out here and can't call out so sorry i haven't given anyone any calls. god i don't want to fly tomorrow.. i hate flying!! well... i'm gonna go to bed now. LATER!!!~
Dec. 28th, 2005 @ 02:02 am
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| » you're the only ten i see... |
so here i am in nashville tennessee... where i get to spend christmas. mandy and i flew in this morning. had to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn for our flight. we got here at like 9:30 this morning. its been a long day. but i met my niece today and i love her. she's absolutely adorable. she fell asleep on my chest while i was lying on the couch and i fell in love with her. i guess i like babies when i'm closer to them... and when i don't have to handle poopie diapers and stuff... or at least when i can give her back when she's screaming. lolOlol.
so thats pretty much my day. we hung out at alison's house and swooned over the baby. i'm back at the hotel now getting ready to go to bed. i feel so pathetic because its only like 10:45 here and i'm about ready to pass the fuck out. granted i woke up super early this morning and didn't get much sleep last night. anyways... i'm gonna head out and go to bed. NIGHT
Dec. 23rd, 2005 @ 11:39 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
so today sucked. i feel like shit. excuse me if this gets too graphic for you but you'll get over it. so i got my period on friday... 2 weeks early... which shouldn't happen because i've been on bc for almost a year straight. so yeah, period started friday not good. then today i wake up and everything's normal minus a little pain. then a little later i come downstairs to watch tv and i'm lying on the couch and suddenly it hits me and i start screaming and crying. it hurt so bad i couldn't move at all. it felt like something had exploded inside my uterus. i had to call my mom and mandy had to come over and stay with me for a little while. i talked to alison on the phone a little later too and she was telling me the same thing happened to her... cuz we have a history of ovarian cysts in my family. yay for me. so i think i had a cyst and it ruptured and that's probably part of the cause for my period. so i'm not feeling great and i'm starting to get a little out of it... i took a vicodin a little while ago to get rid of the pain and it hasn't totally kickde in yet.
i had a good time last night. i hung out with anne, sharon and krysia. krysh came home for break on friday so obviously we had to hang out. the 4 of us got dressed up and went to dinner at p.f. changs. it was fun. then we watched a bad movie lol sharon and anne slept over but krysh had to go home. so yeah... that's pretty much been my weekend... just in case anyone was wondering. =-p
night
Dec. 18th, 2005 @ 11:09 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
mmmm so rachel has interesting news that she's bursting to tell but she can't!!!! i'm flipping out and i can't tell anyone because i'm not allowed to have secrets from certain people who are on the verge of stalking me!!!!!! and i will name no names for the sake of my safety and well-being. LololOl
god i'm a spaz.
i'm done with this semester. i turned in my last paper tonight and i don't have a final on friday so yay. quite an easy semester if i may say so myself. working full time and going to class twice a week. lOLol. not too shabby if you ask me. so i have to go spend the day at gmu tomorrow so i can do the stupid orientation thing over again. you should only have to do that as a freshman... transfers don't need it. so i get to register for classes too. finally! maybe gmu will finally let me in on what's going to happen with my futire education because they sure as shit haven't told me ANYTHING about what's going on yet.
OH!!! big news for my family... my sister had her baby on monday. she's a cutie. we're all going to spend christmas at their house in tennessee.
and thats all i feel like saying for now. =-p
later dudes!!!!!
Dec. 15th, 2005 @ 12:13 am
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| » holla bitches |
as sabet said... you'll probably be like duh...
| You scored as The "Belch". You're..most definitely the "Belch"..you take pride in you're unusual abilities and love to show off your adorably repulsive talents. You love carbonated beverages and twinkies and enjoy spicy or sugary meals. You need to grow up, and consider investing in a nice value pack of tic-tacs.
The "Belch" | | 100% | The "Yawn" | | 58% | The "Drool" | | 58% | The "Queef" | | 50% | The | | 42% | The "Sneeze" | | 42% | The "Fart" | | 33% | You're in denial. | | 25% | </td>
Which bodily function are you? created with QuizFarm.com |
so its snowing outside. i went out and played in it with the dog a little while ago. it was fun. =-D i forgot how much fun the snow is... except that its cold and i hate the cold. oh well.
so rachel quit her job. yay for rachel!! i'll probably go back and work part time once i know what my schedule's like next semester. which reminds me... i finally got in touch with gmu and i can say that at least they DO expect me to be a student there next semester which is good. and i can go to orientation in 2 weeks which is good so i can schedule my classes. lol.
oooooOOoo... i'm getting my haircut on wednesday. i think i might cut it pretty short... in a bob maybe. everyone's been trying to get me to do it for a while now. like everyone i worjed with said i would look so good with short hair. so i'm going to be brave and try it out.
and thats the news i have for you now. i hope you found it enjoyable. =-D
Dec. 5th, 2005 @ 11:14 pm
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| » boredness |
so umm.... i got another tattoo today. O=-D i love it and i think everyone else will too. =-D its so awesome. maybe a picture to come later.
so yeah i'm bored right now. i'm at home chillin with... myself and my friends are either with other people or not home. i don't feel like driving anywhere otherwise i'd call andrea cuz i haven't seen her in a million years. but yeah... i'm bored and its sad cuz i'm in the mood to do something. oh well. sharon and i had a funny weekend from mattress-buying adventures to tattoo adventures. maybe stories will come later? i don't know... buty right now i'm not in the mood to tell stories. it just takes to long. lOlol0Lol.
ooooOOoo i quit my job, which makes me happy cuz i hate my job. i'm sick of dealing with bitchy rich people. they piss me off. and i'm sick of managers who treat me like shit. so yeah... i quit and i'm happy about it. my last day is in 2 weeks.
yup... thats my life right now. isn't it exciting? yeah... i didn't think so... =-p
Nov. 20th, 2005 @ 09:12 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
i wish someone could answer all the questions that i always have to ask. i don't know where i belong anymore. i don't know what i'm supposed to do anymore. i feel like shit right now even though i don't think i should feel this way. today's just been hard for some reason. this morning was fine... i took dave to brunch cuz today's his bday of course he had to go back to school so then i went to the theatre and just started to feel like shit and it's been downhill from there. i hate my job... i feel like no one understands me... i don't want to do theatre anymore cuz it used to be fun but now it just makes me feel like shit... i don't know what to do with my life... i don't feel like i should be back in va but i don't feel like i should be back in sc either so where the fuck should i be? and i feel like i don't get along with anyone anymore. i just don't know what to do with myself anymore and it sucks something fierce.
on a good note... i got into mason so i can go back to college next semester... yay...
oh and sorry i haven't talked to anyone in like 5 years... i haven't had a free minute in like a month... so it'll be another week or 2 and hopefully i'll actually be able to sit down and have a conversation with some of you
Oct. 30th, 2005 @ 09:54 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
so i figure it's time to update my long neglected livejournal. i just finished reading a bunch of all ya'lls entries and i want to comment on many but i don't feel like taking the time. loLol. i do care and i do have thoughts and i have been meaning to call many of you for quite some time now.
too bad i work almost everyday for 8 hours. boo. but it'll all be worth it... i'm getting paid, i'm making more money than i did at my summer job and the benefits are way better. i got a job at the elizabeth arden red door spa. its a tough job cuz people suck. but like i said... i'm making more money already... i get commission, i get free services and in 3 months i might be up for a raise. holler. so you see it could be worse... but you know how it is.
i need to do my french homework. boo. homework sucks. at least i only have one class tomorrow. yay for my teacher canceling class for some reason.
i totally just thought my train of thought and i have no idea what i was gonna talk about. loLOlol well i'm gonna go take a shower anyway so i'll be back sometime. bye!!!
Oct. 6th, 2005 @ 09:40 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
i feel trapped and useless again. i'm trying to find a job and there's really nothing i'm motivated to do. it's not just finding a job though... i'm not really motivated to do anything. i feel horribly depressed right now. i don't want to eat... i don't want to do homework... i don't want to clean... i don't want to be on the computer... all i want to do is sit and cry or maybe sleep... i slept till after one today and couldn't figure out why i was getting out of bed. i guess if i didn't get out of bed all day mom and dad would probably worry... but i'm sick anyway so i could just use that as an excuse. i still need to write an essay for gmu but i have nothing to write about. i don't know what motivates me or anything like that... and even if i did, i wouldn't know what to write about it.
i wish i could run away somewhere and pretend to be anyone but myself.
Sep. 14th, 2005 @ 04:40 pm
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| » Been a while hasn't it? |
Holler bitches.
the new year of school shit has started off fine... even though i'm still here at home... with my parents... i managed to actually get myself into 2 classes. yay for me. so i'm taking communications and french and i'm probably gonna fail french because i walked into class last week and couldn't understand a word she was saying. LOLOloLol this is why you don't wait 3 years and not take language and then throw yourself back into higher level french because its with sharon and it was the only open class.
also i'm doing theatre again this semester... thank goodness cuz it feels like its been fucking forever since i did a show. i'm in "one flewover the cukoo's nest" with nova and i'm playing sandra which, yet again, is a small part, but at least its a part and now i can get a job too. the first rehearsal's tomorrow.
fun stuff's been going on recently. sharon and i are officially the only people (in our group of friends) left in fairfax so we're going to be seeing fucking a lot of eachother this semester. of course i'm not complaining. we've already had a great start to our semester together. on sunday she and i drove up to ocean city and we came back yesterday evening. it was mucho fun and we've got quite a few fun stories about our trip. starting with trying to find a cheapp place to stay on sunday night. trips are just more fun when you get there and you don't know where you're going to sleep that night. we ended up staying in a tiny itty bitty room in a decent motel a short walk away from the beach. we looked at another motel before that one but it ended up being wicked grody and if you've seen the movie "dark water" you'll understand why. we walked into the lobby and we were like "we need a room" and the guy at the desk says to sharon "the rooms aren't that great do you want to see one first?" and then he gave us the keys to like 3 rooms and told us to go to the top floor. so we went up to look at the rooms and it's like this whole game show thing "let's see what's behind door number 1!" so we look in the first room and it looks like a fairly normal dumpy motel room, then we go to the second room and the door is open a crack so we peek in and it looks not great and so sharon tries to close the door and it won't close... then we go to the third room and open the door (here comes the dark water part) we look in and the ceiling looks nasty, there are broken ceiling tiles and we here water running. before i can even finish a thought sharon is running as fast as she can down the hall and down the stairs. so we gave the dude his keys back and left.
other than our ever so fun random experiences we had a normal trip to the beach, the weather was great and all. oh... and on our way back home yesterday... guess what... i finally got my tattoo!! yay! i'll put up a picture sometime. i like it. :-) so yup... that was our trip to the beach.
so now comes the really unpleasant news about the hurricane of the gulf. good thing for new orleans that it headed east... not so good for mississippi. my entire family on my dad's side lives in new orleans or in the area. i have one uncle who lives in lake charles which is about an hour north of new orleans so everyone went to stay with him except for my uncle phil and aunt sue. they stayed in new orleans so now we're all really worried cuz we can't get in touch with him and it will probably be weeks before we'll even know if they're ok. so needless to say the mood isn't great about it. also my dad just told me that the street where my grandma used to live is entirely under water and so the house that my grandpa spent so much time on is probably destroyed... and so is my childhood in new orleans. its not fun to think about so i'm gonna stop. ok i'm gonna head out. bye.
Aug. 30th, 2005 @ 11:28 am
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| » tra la la la la |
uum just to let you know... i have to write an email to coastal saying that i'm not coming back and as soon as i do that, they're gonna cancel my email address. sooooooo..... if you want to email me i have a new one and its....
actinpeachy@hotmail.com
so yeah if you need to email me... there ya go. =-D catcha later crazy people!!!
yay for ben folds/rufus wainright concert tomorrow night!!! WOOT WOOT!!!!
Aug. 2nd, 2005 @ 06:06 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
oh... so did i ever mention that my engine almost exploded while i was driving to work last week? yeah... so had to have my car fixed... owe my dad more money... yay for me. lOloLOl
Jul. 28th, 2005 @ 06:11 pm
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| » i think i've finally got it figured out... |
ok kiddies... here's the deal... as much as i love you all... i'm not going back to coastal... its not the right place for me. the only reason i really wanted to stay was so that i could see all you guys again. after a lot of thought i decided that my friends weren't exactly the best reason to go to a school. i realized that in the past year i was relying on my roommates (and curtis) to make me happy and otherwise i just wasn't... i figured if the only way i can be happy at coastal is my roommates... i needed to look into something more practical so i don't have to rely on you guys for happiness. i'm staying home this semester and taking some classes at nova and then i'm transfering to mason in the spring (btw... andrea we need to fuckin hang out cuz i haven't seen you at all this summer...) and don't any of you dare think this is an excuse to never see me again cuz its NOT. i'm coming down to sc on the 15 to get my stuff out of storage so that we're not paying more than we have to and i really hope you bitches are gonna be down there by then so i can hang out with you. loLoloLOlolOl and of course you can all call me whenever you want and i'll call you too. and be expecting phone calls within the next week cuz i'm going into withdrawl and it would be cool to talk to you all again not through livejournal. LOLol. I just have to quit my job first so that i'll have more free time.
speaking of my job... i'm quitting before the 12 because i can't stand it anymore. i called in sick today (hence why i'm not at work right now.) because i have shhit to do before i go to nc for the weekend. i'm leaving tomorrow morning so obviously i need to get everything done today. so i called my manager when i woke up this morning and told him i was sick so i couldn't come in. he was angry and he said that i need to bring a doctor's note or else he can't excuse it. i was like "excuse me." it sounded exactly like being back in high school again. "you have to have a doctor's note otherwise your abscense is unexcused." WHAT THE HELL? its my fucking job... he can't do that. he was trying to make me feel guilty for not coming in to. i don't feel guilty at all. its not my fault that he has to work now because he only has 2 other people working for him and one worked this morning and the other has a class tonight. i'm overworked, underpaid, and undernourished and now i have to bring a doctor's note? i seriously don't get paid enough to put up with this bullshit. so yeah... time for rachel to find a new job.
also time for rachel to go. peace out bitches!!
Jul. 28th, 2005 @ 05:50 pm
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